“If You Weren’t Here, I’d Strangle Him.”

I remember this meeting vividly. I was sitting at the kitchen table with a new couple. I prefer to meet people in their homes because it tends to create a more relaxed and honest setting.

We were going over their assets, bills, debts, and investments. The husband had a “live for today” mindset. He wanted to buy the trailer, enjoy life, and spend the money. His wife, on the other hand, was the saver. More cautious. More focused on the long term.

At one point, she looked across the table and said, “If you weren’t here right now, I’d probably jump across this table and strangle him.”

We all laughed, but that tension is real. And it’s not uncommon.

Every relationship brings together two money histories, two perspectives, and two emotional experiences with finances. Some people were raised with a scarcity mindset. Money was tight, so they learned to save. Others grew up feeling like money would always be there and tend to spend more freely. Some couples both save. Some both spend. But often, there’s a tension between the two.

That’s where planning becomes more than numbers. It becomes about communication and compromise.

There’s no perfect way to manage money as a couple. Some keep separate accounts and contribute to a joint account for bills. Others split up the household expenses. One covers the mortgage while the other handles groceries. Some combine everything into one account.

All of those approaches can work. But none of them will work well without open, ongoing conversation.

Because life happens. Income changes. Health changes. Priorities shift. And if you’re not talking about money now, you might be forced to later. By then, it might come out of frustration or fear rather than partnership.

In the end, it’s not about having the same financial personality. It’s about being on the same team.