What is Important to You?

Q: Hey Jose… So, we live a pretty typical millennial lifestyle — house, two cars, three kids, decent jobs. While money gets tight here and there, we’re doing okay. But I look around our neighborhood and see people with brand-new SUVs, fancy vacations, and trailers. Meanwhile, we’re driving 10-year-old vehicles and cutting back. Are we doing something wrong? It’s kind of frustrating.

Answer: This is such a good and honest question — and one I hear more than you'd think.

Let me start with a quote I love: "Comparison is the thief of joy." And in today's world of curated Instagram posts and highlight reels, comparison is everywhere.

It’s easy to feel like you’re falling behind when your neighbors seem to have the new SUV, the camper, the constant vacations… and you’re just trying to make the mortgage, keep the kids clothed, and maybe grab takeout once a week without guilt. I get it — I’m 44 with three kids, two dogs, and a mortgage. You’re not alone.

But here’s the thing: you never truly know what’s going on behind the scenes. The shiny trailer or third vacation might be sitting on a mountain of credit card debt. Or maybe they’re leasing everything and living paycheck to paycheck. It’s all surface-level — and chasing that can be exhausting and financially destructive.

Instead, I’d encourage you to ask: What do we value? Are you trying to look rich or actually be financially secure? Because there’s a big difference.

If you’re saving consistently, keeping debt low, and being intentional with your money — you’re doing better than most. That’s the Millionaire Next Door mindset: living modestly, building quietly.

Yes, post-pandemic, a lot of people adopted a “YOLO” approach. But a lot of that spending came from impulse, emotion… and in many cases, debt. That’s not your problem. As they say: Not my monkey, not my circus.

If this comparison game is causing more than just financial concern — like actual stress or anxiety — don’t hesitate to talk it through with a financial advisor. Or even a therapist. And most importantly, talk to your partner. You’d be surprised how often these feelings are mutual but unspoken.

At the end of the day, you're not doing something wrong. You're just being real. And that’s something to be proud of.